Friday, April 11, 2008

Disembarking from the Ukraine Train

Over the past couple months we have been following blogs of people going over to Ukraine to adopt children. As we've been watching many stories play out we've noticed that it has become increasingly difficult to move forward in that country if you want a young child under the age of 4. Just recently, a family that is working with the same agency we are, went over and spent 5+ weeks chasing down multiple referrals only to return home without a child. We were following another family via their blog that is from Florida and they also returned home without a child after multiple jacked up referrals.

So, about two weeks ago we began praying to see if God wanted us to continue with Ukraine or head a different direction by seeking another country or possibly domestic. We have been asking for clarity and wisdom and that God would be clear in His leading.

God could have spelled it out in my Alphabits, but instead He chose a different, less freaky way. Wednesday I (David) got a call from the Eastern Europe program director from our agency and she informed me that the State Department of Adoption in Ukraine would not be accepting our updated documents and that we could re-submit our dossier in 2009 with the slim possibility of receiving a healthy referral for a little girl under 5. Apparently the word coming from Ukraine is that they have no healthy children under age 8 available. It's not true, but that's the party line. She went on to say that if we chose to stay in the program that they would support that decision and assist in any way they can, but she did not recommend it based on what has been transpiring over there. She has never been this direct in her counsel, but it has never been this bad in Ukraine either.

So, later on today we're going to call her and officially remove ourselves from the Ukraine program. It's a very odd feeling because for the last 18 months we've been all amped up to adopt a little girl from there and now that is not going to happen. It's sad because we KNOW there is a little girl over there that would match our request. But, there is some relief as well because neither of us wanted to go back there for so long and get yanked all over the place jumping through all the hoops you have to and still likely coming home childless.

Please pray for us as we back everything up and start from square one. We're not sure which road to take, but we clearly see that God has stopped the Ukraine Train and it is time to disembark. Thanks for following our story, we'll keep you posted on the next step!


gwarrick said...

Dave & Gina, We are sorry for this seeming dead end. Yet we know God has a plan more wonderful than we can understand. We will continue to pray for Him to reveal that plan to you in His perfect timing.
Gary & Cherry

Jason, Erica, and Ashton Reed said...

We pray for your family every day. We are so thankful that early in this process, God brought our families together - you will never know how much it helped to be able to share both praises and sorrows with you. Maybe our paths will cross in another country! Please stay in touch.

The Reeds

Scott & Carissa Martin said...

Friends... Our short stint into the adoption world with you has already been a whirlwind. The combination of exhaustion and exhilaration is insane. I am so glad God has brought you to a "moving point" even though its a tough one. Love you guys and trusting God for your child to be as well as ours.

bret said...

Wow. I'm sorry for you guys, and I'm praying for you. I hope that God quickly opens another door for you. Thanks for keeping all of us posted on how things are going. It's a blessing to see the journey your on, the faith you are showing, and the excitement you have. Be encouraged that God is with you through this.

Christine said...

I am so sad to hear this. I know it must be a hard decision. {{hugs}}

Kathy & Matt said...

I'm so sorry. I know this change is heart breaking and confusing.

Please keep your faith in God's plan. We spent 18 months trying to adopt from Ukraine and had 3 referrals fall through. I couldn't understand it. Then we felt called to switch to Ukraine. Fortunately for us, we found our daughter 12 months later. But it's clear from how things played out, that God had the timing perfect for us to find her.

Your new daughter is waiting. I pray God helps you find her soon.

Tami said...

I'm so sorry this part of your journey has ended, but I certainly understand your decision. We'll be following and praying for you as you start the next part of your journey. Your little girl is out there...God will help you find her.

Mrs. Sweetman said...

I am wishing for good news ahead. It makes me sad, also, to think of all the children that need to be loved and cared for in the Ukraine. Hopefully all our prayers will somehow reach them in ways we may never experience. Take care.

Diane Sweetman

THE ISBELL'S said...

Praying for you----

Shirley and Steve said...

WISE decision. We can certainly relate to your pain and confusion from having to start the process all over again after so many months of work.

I take it that you're referring to us when you talk about the family that spent 5+ weeks in Ukraine chasing referrals. Shirley and I constantly question why He put us through that. But if us spinning our wheels for 5+ weeks means that good people such as yourselves will be spared the same torment, then we're certainly thankful for that. Neither of our families need to deal with these "xenophobes" (like that word, eh???).

Be in touch. If ever you feel like chatting, please drop us a line. God bless...


J&N said...

We are sad to hear of this disheartening news. We will be praying for God's direction & comfort in your lives during the coming days ahead.

The words of the song "Trust His Heart" took on special meaning during our adoption process, so we want to share them with you. We hope they will bring encouragement to you.

Trust His Heart - by Babbie Mason
All things work for our good
though sometimes we can’t see how they could.
Struggles that break our hearts in two
sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what’s best for us;
His ways are not our own.
So, when your pathway grows dim,
and you just can’t see Him,
Remember He’s still on the throne.

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don’t understand,
when you don’t see His plan,
When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.

He sees the Master plan.
He holds the future in His hands.
So don’t live as those who have no hope.
All our hope is found in Him.
We walk in present knowledge,
but He sees the first and the last.
And like a tapestry, He’s weaving you and me
to someday be just like Him.

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don’t understand,
when you don’t see His plan,
When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.

If you ever have any questions we could answer regarding domestic adoption or Nebraska Children's Home, please feel free to get in touch!

The Newkirks

MamaPoRuski said...

Wow, sorry to see the end of this part of the dream, know that there is a child waiting for you and God will bring you together!

beth said...

Thanks for sharing this news. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways follow Him and He will make your paths straight.

Anonymous said...

i'm sorry about the deteriorating state of Ukraine adoptions. i'm half Ukrainian, my dad was born there and i started my adoption journey in fall 2006 with my heart DEAD-SET on Ukraine!!!

then shortly after we started the process, dh lost his job but i also started re-thinking Ukraine as back then, i was seeing a couple people come home w/out children, esp. those requesting girls under 5... so, i sadly decided against Ukraine, i saw back then they were having so many problems, but still some people were able to come home with young girls.

then i considered Russia briefly, then Kaz but then the travel requirement went up. then i went a different direction and went for Vietnam. got my dossier together, then VN program went downhill FAST!!! then thought about Kyrgyzstan, then thought no EE is too crazy (lol) i will go to Ethiopia. as soon as i decided that, BAM i found a SN girl on a waiting child list from Russia...

i am currently pursuing her, and hoping i am nearing the end of my adoption roller coaster ride of the last 2yrs!!! i wish u the best of luck, you will find your path!!! and sorry this got so long!!!

Drew and Rita said...

Thank you for your comments on our blog. It is tough giving up on your dream. Adopting in Ukraine under 5 and healthy is a tough bill to fill. If we thought it was a reasonable possibility we would consider it again, but truly I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole right now. Do not dispair. I've communicated with yet another couple that are returning without a child from Ukraine. There are a lot of children in this world needing homes. If Ukraine does not want to help finding homes for their children there are other countries that do. I've heard Bulgaria is opening up as an option. Your perseverence will pay off. Drew and Rita

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Our family said...

It's so sad to hear the latest news about Ukraine Adoptions. We were there almost a year ago and it was not easy. Although the Lord has blessed us with an amazing son, neither the facilitators or people there made it easy for us.
We pray you find the right country to adopt from.
God bless your family as you decide.